Just mADE A PArabola og urine
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
