so explain again why im purple
no
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
