did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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