but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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