I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
