you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
