how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Do vagina's smell?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
