you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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