I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
