if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
