Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
