This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
