:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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