I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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