it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
cat food counts as protein by the way
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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