I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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