I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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