Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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