Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
