PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
