in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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