I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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