Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Randomize
