I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
