Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
"it" just moved
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
