so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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