so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
