Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
