That's intense
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Randomize
