hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
