my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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