sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I need a beard to bite.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
