The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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