what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
