So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
