It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
