how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
