so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
