Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
