I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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