I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
it was like eating out sand paper
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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