....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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