Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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