the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
