I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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