please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
