i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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