She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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