Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
