Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
